More Kwanzaa

DAY 4, December 29 COOPERATIVE ECONOMICS
The principle for this day allows you to go after your dreams with an open heart: "To build and maintain our own stores, shops and other businesses and to profit from them together." This is where we create something that solves a problem for others and creates a profit for us. There is a way to help and to have. What (righteous) problem could you solve? What kind of economic legacy could leave behind? Let your business mind get to work, but remember to choose something that you believe. That way you will stick with on the tough days.

DAY 5, December 30 PURPOSE
Generally speaking purpose is each one of us discovering why we are here, our assignment in the earth. This is where we learn to live a life that truly matters. In terms of Kwanzaa, the meaning of purpose is "to make our collective vocation the building and developing of our community in order to restore . . ." We change and impact our environment for the good. We don't complain about our pain and our past (we are aware), but rather we actively work at changing not only our future, but the future of our community, starting with one person, one solution at a time.

DAY 6, December 31 CREATIVITY
And Today's focus is creativity, where we pull all of our skills and abilities together and create what we create with excellence, style and effectiveness. Do you have an idea? Well get to the business of planning it out, establishing a team to support you, and executing it. There is always room for beauty and brains.

Tomorrow we will cover the final and in my opinion the most important principle. Keep in mind, if God is not a part of it, then you are loosing power.

-MizJAI-

Baby Steps: Kwanzaa

There is a holiday between Christmas and New Year's Day that many of us do not celebrate, that's Kwanzaa. We forget or never truly understood what it was about and so we let it pass by us. Kwanzaa is a celebration of Family, Community & Culture created by Dr. Maulana Karenga in 1966. It lasts for seven days and consists of seven principles (one principle a day).

It's the kind of information, that when applied can change anyone's life. Kwanzaa was created to reinforce specific principles. So let's take a quick peak here:

DAY 1, December 26 UNITY
As my dad says, unity is not something that just happens, we have to work at it. The goal is to possess unity among your family, then your community, the nation that you are a part of as well as your race. If we worked to get over hating ourselves and the people who look like us, if we worked to understand our history, redefine and shape our country, if worked to exercised the God given power that we possess to impact our community for Him--then our little place in the world will change, one dynamic relationship at a time.

DAY 2, December 27 SELF-DETERMINATION
One of the challenges of life is discovering who you really are and making sure that that person is who you truly want to be. Not only that, but learning to be comfortable in your own skin every day no matter the company you find yourself in. Being you should be natural, but honestly, discovering-uncovering-accepting ourselves is a challenge. But being able to stand in a room, filled with people who may not understand you yet-who may be judging you still, and know that you are qualified to be where you are is liberating and life changing for you and the awkward child watching you and watching the world trying to find their place and a way to fit in. You proactively determine your life and the quality of your community, don't just wait for someone who may not even care about you to define who you are. You call yourself by your name and you live a life of character and grace that gives that name meaning.

DAY 3, December 28 COLLECTIVE WORK & RESPONSIBILITY
Our life is about more than ourselves. My pastor always says that 'a rising tide raises everything in the ocean.' In other words, if I go up, you go up. If you go up, then I go up. It should be common that we actively and positively impact your community. It should be common that we care about another woman's child and another family's well-being. It should be common that we are givers. It should be common knowledge and action that we involved . . . Today is Ujima (pronounced 'oo gee mah'), which is Collective Work & Responsibility. If you have not been a positive impact in your community on purpose, then find a productive way to give back today. And brainstorm about how to systematically impact your community for Christ in a practical way, because life is so much bigger that just you, so live like it.


We will re-discover all seven of the principles of Kwanzaa together in the next few days.

Keep in mind, Americans have a story, men have a story, women have a story, black people have a story, the human race has a story. It is imperative that we understand our stories, know who we are and allow God to use the total package to change the world around us into something beautiful more days than not . . .

-MizJAI-

DAY 4, December 29 COOPERATIVE ECONOMICS
DAY 5, December 30 PURPOSE
DAY 6, December 31 CREATIVITY
DAY 7, January 1 FAITH

Good Morning and . . .

-MizJAI-

Twas the night before . . .

Tomorrow is Christmas. And if you are like the average American, then you still have some shopping to do. But if you are one the few who are finished, then you are in a beautiful position to enjoy the day. To take an unexpected nap, to bake some cookies, to take a walk with your family, to consider the things that matter the most, to pick up a surprise gift for a person that you hardly know that might need it--to live outside of the Christmas crunch and help someone around you do the same. And if not, then make it your mission to end the mad dash early and to settle in on some bonding time this evening inside of the usual Christmas eve duties. Let's see if we can have a few hours this evening to 'chill' with the people that we love (and you'll be surprised, family is everywhere . . .

Oh, those sleigh bells

Find something different to do as a family. Several malls are offering free sleigh rides in the mall area. Peachtree City is doing it at the Avenue and the new mall near Dilliards in Newnan is doing the same thing (on the weekends). But if you have your mind set on greater heights, then there are several companies that give rides through downtown Atlanta starting at $50 a ride. Google it and then go for it. The 'sleigh bells ring, are you listening?'

-MizJAI-

A Christmas Dove

-MizJAI-

One more week . . .

It's official! Christmas is one week away!

Are you ready? Well, regardless of the gifts that you think you don't have yet, you are ready to show love. If your money is funny this Christmas, consider the beautifully homemade gifts. I have a few tips below:

1. Since you have pulled out the cameras since you read Let's Make a Memory, you probably have plenty of pictures by now :-). Consider cropping and framing the best of them as gifts.

2. Or maybe you are an excellent singer (note the word excellent) or a hilarious performer, then make your family a cd single of their favorite Christmas song, then they can add it to their Christmas season playlist (and if you do a great job, it will set the season off next year).

3. Can you cook? Then let your gift be a feast. Or if you want to put it under the tree, then create tiny, tasty, delicacies and wrap them up.

4. Consider playing around with that vacation footage and make a movie using the software that automatically comes with most computers (movie maker for PCs or iMovie for Macs--with the mac it's not automatic, but the download is 79.99 and comes with a whole lot of extra stuff that makes the price well worth it, plus online tutorials).

So, we've 'got' movies to make, music to record, cooking to do, photos to work on and any other creative idea that you come up with. Think of it this way, while everyone is trapped in the chaos of the largest shopping days of the year, crowded and locked in mall traffic, you get to be at home, creating your 'masterpiece.' Have at it.

-MizJAI-

Don't loose the Spirit . . .

We knew as children who Santa Claus was, because he ate his oranges the same way Daddy does. But we still had to go to bed early and left out cookies for Santa(we didn't want to treat Santa better than Daddy).

And we learned that there was a real, living and breathing Saint Nicholas who used to leave gifts in the window sills of people's homes. His gifts always seemed to be life savers. And since he lived at least a century ago, it taught me that being a giver is to leave a legacy.

Today, my family (and an entire army of givers) is St. Nicholas to twenty boys plus ever Christmas. There are gifts under the tree, but I believe the biggest gift is our time and care. We fuss over their gifts the way our parents fussed over ours. And that's what matters: people seeing who you are, fighting for you, remembering you, celebrating you, even if we started out as strangers. Find a way to get past the commercialism and leave a legacy of giving . But whatever you do, don't loose the Spirit.

Believe . . .

If I could sprinkle fairy dust on some people and extend the spirit of innocence that is supposed to be a part of childhood, I would. Because some of us have it snatched away too early, seduced from us too soon, and some down right give it away with open arms, not truly realizing what they've done until it's too late.

Oh, but we should stay young, and by youth I don't mean immaturity. We should stay fresh and relevant and excited about life so that the people around us can catch on and learn something new. Cynics are everywhere, we don't need you joining that club. And blind optimist can be irritating. But if you could learn to believe with eyes wide open, then you could effectively change the air around you . . . You don't even need fairy dust to stay young at heart, just a little more hope and a little more faith and a little more trust in God than what you have right now and you could really impact somebody's life, starting with your own.

Believe.

-MizJAI-

I'm Too Cool for Christmas Music

Have you ever noticed how 'cool' the average teenager tries to be? The code of conduct that they ascribe to and the litany of things that they automatically don't like just because . . . Is Christmas music on your child's (niece's, nephew's, neighbor's son, young cousin's) list as corny? Play it anyway. Let these songs become a part of their Christmas memories.

Be sure to pay attention and learn from them as well. I will be looking for Chris Brown's Christmas song today, simply because the kids in my Wednesday class told me about it. The conversation went something like this . . .

"Aw more Christmas music."
"Yes, it's Christ-mas-time."
"Play that Chris Brown."
"Only if he's singing Christmas."
"He is. He is!"
"Then I'll check it out."

Do you. Create for the children around you (especially the teenagers) little moments that they wouldn't learn to create without you. Add their flavor to what you create and you will be timeless . . .

-MizJAI-

Family Missing In Action . . .

When the holidays come, it has a tendency to magnify the hole that may already be in your soul. Nothing is wrong with you. Life is happening and your heart is aching regardless of the season. But don't let it overtake you. Do something now. Consider being with your family and just sitting still together and remembering . . . and when you are done, get up together and go do something wonderful that the person you miss would do.

And if the person you miss is alive but on the other side of the country or the world, then create something that will make their day like a photo album, a cool website that they can see, a movie. In other words, make a memory and send it, reminding them that you love them and even though you are strong (I know you are) life just 'ain't the same' without them.

-MizJAI-

Don't Let the Overwhelm Get To You

With all the work to be done it's easy to drown in the doing and never enjoy the season. By now, you already know what I'm about to say: 'STOP for a second, slow everything down for one moment, take 30 minutes and spend on you.' Go to a near by lake, and just decompress or find a tree and sit under it like Deborah did (a story for another day).

And if you are not the one with all the responsibilities for the season, then give them 30 minutes of their own, they need it.

Let's Make a Memory

I have just attended my second of at least five parties for the year, and as I only slightly irritated everybody with my camera-and-camcorder-in-your-face-for-the-best-shot-and-the-sake-of-the-season-so-act-right antics, it occured to me that you guys should do the same: Make a Memory. Pull out that camcorder that no one has been using or pick up an instamatic camera and get that shot (for the sake of the season) . . .

Help is on the way . . .

With everything that is happening in the world,

1. it is a perfect time to think of others, and

2. a reason to do things to make the air around you special,

People need company from a sincere and empathetic friend, but sometimes, they also just need a break from the drama. Some families are facing divorce this season, some are separated because one member is in the war and the other is on the home front keeping the family strong and the house together. Many are facing financial challenges, more than usual with all the pending foreclosures because of the backlash of creative financing from 5 years ago. And here you sit in the middle of it all. I ask you, what will you do with your Christmas?

If you are facing tragedy and you are strong enough to find a true smile, then smile anyway because there is some woman that needs to see it. If you are on the verge of going under and you can find the strength to hold yourself up a little longer till help comes, then hold on, because there is some man that needs to see your resilience, your strength, your simple refusal to give up. If you are on the outside looking in, then get to studying and praying until you find the perfect way to give back and help in your own way. It may be prayers, empathy, presence, and/or a secret and necessary gift, but trust that God will give a tasteful way to bring the Merry into someone's Christmas.

This season is to celebrate that help is on the way. A child was born who would deliver us, and no matter what it looks like, hold on, because help is on the way . . .

-MizJAI-

Reclaiming Your Christmas, dealing with death during the holidays

First of all you are not alone. Many of us have lost loved ones during the holiday season. And sometimes it just doesn't matter when you lost them, you miss them at Christmas. It's ok to feel your loss as long as you don't allow it to take you under. So how do we celebrate the people we miss without being overwhelmed with pain and drowning in our loss. How do we find the joy in the holiday season?

We become what we miss the most for another person.

You miss your grandmothers or your parents. Then become that spirit for another person. Use your talents to bless someone else and quiet as it's kept, it will liberate you from your pain. You still may feel the heaviness in the mornings and the evenings, but while you give it lifts (at least for a time). And as you begin to taste these moments of life again, the best parts of you want more because we were meant for joy. I have spent Christmas after Christmas taking care of other people's children. And that fact has been a saving grace during some of the most challenging times of my life: death of family members and death of a marriage.

There are three things that I do to reclaim not only my Christmas:

1). Redirecting myself so that I can focus my energy on something that will lift me up and not allow me wallow around depressed has saved my life (and I know I'm not the only one).

2). Realizing their life, instead of focusing on the pain of their death, has had me laughing even as the tears fall. When it's all said and done I still have a life to live and the fact that I have loved someone that has come and gone is reason enough to live a life that matters because people will see the person I love in small ways through you.

3). Rejoicing at the best in them that has become a part of me and leaving the pain on the table is my constant way out. I have felt like a fat man trying to shed a hopeless amount of pounds: but, it seemed like the more I walked it out, heavy weight and all, the lighter I began to feel (day after day after day). The pain can be temporary, the heart beat of who the where in your life and who they are in your heart can be eternal. Rejoice in that and let the pain go.

I love you.

-MizJAI-

You have to work at it . . .

My dad says that "you have to work at it." He was talking about Christmas and how children make our reactions to the Holidays very natural, you simply go all out because there are children around. But once people grow up and move on, we have a tendency to move away from completely letting loose into the Christmas spirit. Well I say, "there are some things that we should never out grow:"

our joy at experiencing something new

the pleasure of singing carols and laughing out load

the beauty in your family traditions, and if you have none then make your own for your children to pass on. Don't come up with anything crazy as you hope to pass it down from generation to generation.

If you have been playing your music and taking a little time to drink in the moments, then the Grinch in you is beginning to die (Yea!).

What about building up your collection of Christmas movies. Just start with one and add another each year so that you don't break the bank. When I was little we always watched It's a Wonderful Life (it's an old black and white that my dad loves). When I have kids, I will probably bring them over to Grandma's house to watch It's a Wonderful Life with Grandpa (whether they like it or not :-), they will like it at least while they are really little.

I'm daydreaming, but I'm just saying the simplest traditions make the holidays special, so have at it.

-MizJAI-

On the Second Day of Christmas . . . a miracle happened in my mind

We are the ones that make it happen. We play the music that creates the atmosphere, we take the moments to give something meaningful to a stranger in need, we teach the ones around us how to live for more than just ourselves, and we create the space to slow down for a minute and breath in the moment of this Christmas. Don't wait to get started because Christmas is now, so do something special today to celebrate the season . . . I think I will wrap a gift (early!)

MizJAI

On the First Day of Christmas . . .

On the first day of Christmas I realized that I can't do everything, so in all my doing I will do the things that matter most . . . smile and laugh and take moments in the middle of my day to feel the sun, to hear the Christmas music and to smile for no reason other than just because . . . and to write.

-MizJAI-