Return to Sender (Creation Conversation)
Most of the time you can't send your family back. And although fifty percent of American married couples routinely divorce each other, has anyone every successfully divorced their family. I mean really, it's not that easy when it's the one you where born into. Even if you ignore them all together or simply try to ignore the bad parts and enjoy the rest, things always have a way of creeping in.
So . . .
when your husband says what he always seems to eventually say. You know those series of words, those ones that always manages to set you off somewhere in your vulnerable place.
And when your parents or your child has simply gone farther than the turkey dressing can cover, and said more than you needed to hear for one break.
When your brother or sister finally find and work that nerve that is commonly known as "your last one"
. . . Remember that you are not alone.
Family drama doesn't come in a box. Consequently, you can't neatly stamp return to sender and leave it at the post office. So it's time for some Creation Conversation.
Let's face it, God made them and not you. So chances are that you are not going to be able to yell and nag and control and scream them into the person that you want them to be. Which means it's time for a new approach, knees first.
It's time to refocus my conversations about family to the One who created them, God, the Father himself.
Tell the Truth (Recognition)
Pull out a piece of paper and a pen. You are getting ready to tell the unadulterated truth about whatever you are dealing with, but be sure to have a shredder close by. Because you're expressing them to get them off your chest not to hurt anyone. You don't want your dark thoughts to destroy your living relationships. You just want clarity, to direct your prayers and confessions because we are getting ready to change our lives.
At a time when I was completely fed up with every member of my family, I did this and it changed me. And when I change for the better, then my whole life changes for the better.
I wrote down the names of every member that was "bothering me." I mean all the junk that they did that I hate and have hated for years, I just wrote it all down and numbered each one. Then I made a list about myself as well, figuring that there was a chance that I had worked their nerves too (a little, at least :-D). And in the middle of documenting my family's demons, I decided to be real. Tears fell and my pen kept moving. Evidently, I had a life time of stuff to get off my chest.
When I was done making those list, I took a deep breathe and then I re-read them and scratch off everything that was self. If she wears short hair and I wish she would wear it long. I let it go. I scratched that kind of junk off because it doesn't matter. If her hair doesn't stop her from getting a job or separate her from God, then I removed it from my list and focused on what was more important.
Finally, I had a more honest and relevant list. So, I gave it to God. I said, "God these are the things that will not serve their dreams, their futures or their success. I give them and all the issues to You because You made my family and You know just what they need. So heal these areas. Grow my family up in Jesus name I pray Amen."
One of my sisters came to see me later that night. She said, "I believe that I've been doing this (and she explained it) my whole life. I think I am going to stop. It's like I couldn't see it before but now I do. What do you think? Have I been doing that?" Oh my God, could this be happening. Yes it was. So in that moment I made a decision. I left out all the arrogant, self-righteous, older-sister, I-told-you-so crap and simply "Yes, I had noticed that too." She thought out loud for a while, thanked me for helping her and then left.
I checked my list. That was item number 1 and 2 in a single moment where I said less than I normally say and got further than I normally get.
Honest and sincere prayer works for the righteous, so don't give up. Dive in to Creation Conversation, talk to the One who made them. He made you and get ready to grow and change too.
-MizJAI . . . family inspiration-
